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Devil May Strip
Bishops of Bastard Presents: The Raunch and the Righteous: Devil May Strip (also known as 3 Raunch 3 Righteous) is a Spec Script for a webcomic created by Darnell Deepwell and written by Mickey Random. This installment takes place roughly 20 years before 2 Raunch 2 Righteous and also ties in with the events following Raunch & Righteous Sex. Devil May Strip first focuses on Def as a teen and then later as a middle-aged satyr. He gets into illegal street racing and auto parts theft while establishing his relationship with the Hæysux hoping to become Lord of the Lodge...and even get laid. If he is successful, the devil may strip. __TOC__ Plot It is the Spring of 1962. 19-year-old Gene Silverstein has just graduated high school. His father Terry buys him a red Chevy Impala as a gift. Gene drives his new car to a burger stand where he meets his future wife, Sabrina. After getting into a scuffle with Sabrina’s greaser ex-boyfriend Francis, Gene and Francis settle the dispute with a drag race. Although Gene totals his new car, he wins the race and goes home with Sabrina. Terry is displeased with Gene’s choices and puts a curse on Gene. Decades later in 1990, Gene is a shell of his former self. He is suck at a dead-end job as an assistant data analyst at software company Bright Star USA. He shares a two bedroom apartment with Ethan Downs, a wanna be conman who dabbles in MLM scams. Ethan devises a scheme to sell phony promissory notes to a local hedge fund. The cash flow will enable them to open up an investment firm in Cankerton and pay off their debts owed to the Genovese Brothers, two hulkish identical twin loan sharks. After Gene’s colleague is laid off and shoots up the Bright Star building, Gene agrees to help Ethan run the scam. But the hedge fund managers turn out to be undercover cops. Ethan is arrested while Gene is in the mens room. Gene is taken into custody after trying to escape. Gene is later released on a technicality. As Gene walks home, he is set upon by the Genovese Brothers. He flees to an abandon gas station and hides in the garage. He finds that the old service station is actually called “The Lodge” and it is occupied by a group of teenage mechanics who are also street racers led by Harry Derpsloski. Harry teaches Gene the art of “Strip Racing” (driving backwards while peeling out). They race on an old thoroughfare they call “The Strip” where their car meets are held. Harry tells Gene that they are all descendants of the Hæysux, celestial satyrs from the realm of Caprasecks. But Gene is more shocked to find that Harry has a cellular phone in his car. For Gene to reach his full potential, he must be bathed in fire. But Gene tells Harry that he’s cursed by his father and anybody who hangs around him is cursed too. Gene then discovers that Harry’s crew steals car parts and sells them on the black market. After a night heist at an auto parts store, Gene and Harry are pursued by Colonel Fishmeal, a disgruntled vet who—to their surprise—has also learned how to strip race. Fishmeal owns a private army called Murk Liquid and they are dedicated to taking down Harry and his crew over some stolen parts taken from Fishmeal’s armory months prior. Harry and his crew decide to bring Fishmeal down first by exposing Fishmeal’s misuse of government funding. Gene brings Ethan in on the scam. Ethan suggests that they rip off Fishmeal’s data base using Gene’s super computer on wheels, Robucket. Gene and Ethan pretend to be investors looking to put money into Murk Liquid. The plan works, but Fishmeal catches up to them. After gunning down one of Harry’s crew members, Fishmeal turns his sidearm to Gene. Gene makes a remark to Fishmeal to by time. After Ethan shuts off the lights, Gene and Harry escape in their cars. Fishmeal and his men chase Gene and Harry through the streets of Cankerton. Fishmeal’s men box in Gene and Harry returns to help Gene. While Harry checks his mirrors for Fishmeal, his car is hit head on by an 18 wheeler and crushed, killing him. Rookie Officer Miguel MeGusta recovers Harry’s broken cellular telephone from the crime scene and gives it to Gene. After reading a letter left by Harry leaving Gene in charge of the Lodge, Gene discovers that he and Harry have the same father (Dagon) making them brothers. Gene decides to go after Fishmeal stating that by the time it’s all over, Fishmeal will be working for them. Gene confronts Fishmeal outside of Murk Liquid where Gene reveals that the colonel is really greaser Francis, Sabrina’s ex-boyfriend whom Gene got into a fight with at a burger joint back in ‘62. Fishmeal is furious that his federal funding is being cut and challenges Gene to one final race. Gene and Fishmeal race on the strip. When Gene begins to take the lead, Fishmeal opens fire on Gene. Gene rams Fishmeal so that their vehicles get stuck to together. After Gene’s gas tank explodes, both cars flip over. Fishmeal survives the crash, but Gene is consumed by the fire. When Gene emerges from the wreckage, he is in his red satyr form. He becomes Dagon’s Elected Firestorm aka D.E.F. and takes possession of Fishmeal’s soul and mind. Months later, Def and his crew are at a car meet on the Strip. Ethan (now Eat My Fornicate) tells Def that somebody wants to race the new Lord of the Lodge. Def says he’s busy as he looks over documents containing the last known whereabouts of his ex-wife and daughter. When Eat My Fornicate tells Def that the challenging driver calls Def “an old fart hammer”, Def grows angry and agrees to the race. When Def pulls up to the starting line, he finds a red concept microbus there. The unnamed driver turns out to be Linz Mondello. Quotes ETHAN: I can impersonate the CEO of Bright Star. GENE: You couldn’t impersonate a PVS patient. Robucket flies top speed into the wall and falls apart. Gene palms his face. ETHAN: Better get used to that, cake fart. Gene and Ethan are about to run a hedge fund scam. ETHAN: Remember, I’m Licehead Everheart, CEO of Bright Star USA. And you are…? GENE: More nervous than a cat in a room with rocking chairs. ETHAN: You’re Steven Stalebooger, my accountant. GENE: Why do I have to be a booger? ETHAN: Because I picked you. Gene and Ethan are in the elevator. GENE: You don’t look like a CEO and I’m no accountant. I mean, look at me. I’ve got horns growing out of my head! ETHAN: (looks to Gene) Those are horns? GENE: What did you think they were?! ETHAN: Body modifications? Small, tapered pieces of Teflon crazy glued to your—? GENE: Oh, shut up Road Apple! Ethan is arrested by undercover cops posing as hedge fund managers. ETHAN: Officer, those aren’t promissory notes. They’re…uh…food stamp coupons. ARRESTING OFFICER 2: (holds up note) A food stamp coupon for 1.5 million dollars? ETHAN: Some of us like to buy in bulk. Harry walks with Gene through the Chop Shop. HARRY: We get high-end vehicles in and out of here every day. Most of them belong to corrupt city officials. Cops, councilmen, developers, cross-dressers. RIOT: I got us our next job. BLEED: Good. I want a barbell through my nose. DOPE: Don’t you have enough holes in your head? BLEED: Don’t you have enough hoes in your bed? Characters *Gene Silverstein – Washed up data analyst who turns to street racing and auto parts theft. *Ethan Downs – Gene’s partner in crime, a scammer and a perverted flunky. *Robucket – Gene’s super computer on wheels capable of self-preservation. *Harry Derpsloski – Hæysux Lord and owner of the Lodge, an abandon gas station. *Colonel Fishmeal – War-wacky Army vet and CEO of Murk Liquid, LLC. *Sabrina Beiber – Fishmeal’s former girlfriend and later Gene’s ex-wife. *Julio Cruz – Gene’s obese Hispanic partner. *Riot – lead Hæysux mechanic and Harry’s right-hoof man. *Dope – The “minority” Hæysux mechanic because his ethnic background is unknown. *Bleed – Female Hæysux mechanic who is into body modification and femdom. *Syntax – Computer wiz who controls the Lodge’s investments. *Terry Silverstein – Gene’s father who runs a bagel shop. *Richard “Primo” Porter – Friend of Fishmeal, solider of Murk Liquid. *Wayne “Hotbox” Dooley – Friend of Fishmeal, solider of Murk Liquid. *Womack Sternjerggens – Gene’s co-worker and the lead data analyst at Bright Star USA. *Sil and Sam Genovese – Mobsters who attempt to collect a debt from Gene and Ethan. *Officer MeGusta – A rookie cop who befriends Harry and Gene to take on Murk Liquid. *Linz Mondello – Microbus enthusiast who makes a cameo appearance challenging Def to a race. The Raunch and the Righteous: Devil May Strip Gallery R3.jpg|Title Card Rr3-sm.png|Title Graphic let-er-strup-MED.jpg|Let Er Strip! tomorrow-raunch-righteous-dms-MED.jpg|1990. Gene and Harry own The Strip. ---- ---- Category:Bishops of Bastard Presents The Raunch and the Righteous